All the Single Ladies

#AlltheSingleLadies: Getting It Straight

2012-02-27T03:00:00.000-08:00

God's business is putting things right;
      he loves getting the lines straight,
   Setting us straight. Once we're standing tall,
      we can look him straight in the eye.

Psalm 11:7 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Defeat of the Enemies

2012-02-20T03:00:00.000-08:00

I'm thanking you, God, from a full heart, I'm writing the book on your wonders.
   I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy;
      I'm singing your song, High God.

The day my enemies turned tail and ran,
      they stumbled on you and fell on their faces.
   You took over and set everything right;
      when I needed you, you were there, taking charge.

You blow the whistle on godless nations;
      you throw dirty players out of the game,
      wipe their names right off the roster.
   Enemies disappear from the sidelines,
      their reputation trashed,
      their names erased from the halls of fame.

God holds the high center,
      he sees and sets the world's mess right.
   He decides what is right for us earthlings,
      gives people their just deserts.

Psalm 9:1-8 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Can't Get By

2012-02-13T03:00:00.000-08:00

Nobody gets by with anything.
      God is already in action—
   Sword honed on his whetstone,
      bow strung, arrow on the string,
   Lethal weapons in hand,
      each arrow a flaming missile.

Look at that guy!
      He had sex with sin,
      he's pregnant with evil.
   Oh, look! He's having
      the baby—a Lie-Baby!

See that man shoveling day after day,
      digging, then concealing, his man-trap
      down that lonely stretch of road?
   Go back and look again—you'll see him in it headfirst,
      legs waving in the breeze.
   That's what happens:
      mischief backfires;
      violence boomerangs.

I'm thanking God, who makes things right.
   I'm singing the fame of heaven-high God.

Psalm 7:11-17 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Affection Starvation

2012-02-06T03:00:00.000-08:00

Please, God, no more yelling, no more trips to the woodshed.
   Treat me nice for a change;
      I'm so starved for affection.

Can't you see I'm black-and-blue,
      beat up badly in bones and soul?
   God, how long will it take
      for you to let up?

Break in, God, and break up this fight;
      if you love me at all, get me out of here.
   I'm no good to you dead, am I?
      I can't sing in your choir if I'm buried in some tomb!

I'm tired of all this—so tired. My bed
      has been floating forty days and nights
   On the flood of my tears.
      My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears.
   The sockets of my eyes are black holes;
      nearly blind, I squint and grope.

Get out of here, you Devil's crew:
      at last God has heard my sobs.
   My requests have all been granted,
      my prayers are answered.

Cowards, my enemies disappear.
   Disgraced, they turn tail and run.

Psalm 6 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Give Me Answers...!

2012-01-31T03:00:00.000-08:00

When I call, give me answers. God, take my side! Once, in a tight place, you gave me room;
   Now I'm in trouble again: grace me! hear me!

You rabble—how long do I put up with your scorn?
   How long will you lust after lies?
   How long will you live crazed by illusion?

Look at this: look
   Who got picked by God!
   He listens the split second I call to him.

Complain if you must, but don't lash out.
   Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking.
   Build your case before God and wait for his verdict.

Psalm 4:1-5 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Keep Godly Relationships

2012-01-24T03:00:00.000-08:00

How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road,  you don't go to Smart-Mouth College.

Instead you thrill to God's Word,
      you chew on Scripture day and night.
   You're a tree replanted in Eden,
      bearing fresh fruit every month,
   Never dropping a leaf,
      always in blossom.

You're not at all like the wicked,
      who are mere windblown dust—
   Without defense in court,
      unfit company for innocent people.

God charts the road you take.
   The road they take is Skid Row.

Psalm 1

Getting Rid of the Flies in Your Relationships

2011-11-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

Why would anyone allow flies to remain in their fragrance of anointment? Maybe they have developed a familiar connection with the fly and are desensitized to the foul odor and behavior. Some people never achieve full deliverance because they like a particular behavior and have a kinship and friendship with the unclean spirit; they refuse to abandon the relationship. If you are in the midst of a filthy and foul odor you will eventually become desensitized to the stench and walk around in it as though all is well. Someone else could walk in from the fresh clean air and as soon as the door opens they can smell the foul spirit of the house. That is precisely what God's ministers do, they enter into the room of someone's spirit and smell the foul odor of the enemy even when the person who is in bondage cannot.

Fly Removal Exercise: List Nine Possible Flies in Your Ointment

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

Be Encouraged... You Were Made for the Man!

2011-11-21T14:22:00.000-08:00

Men cannot live out God's original plan without you and you cannot live out God's original plan without the man. We are co-laborers and co-dependants together in God's plan. You can live a happy and satisfying life as a single woman, oh yes you can. However, if you don't wan to why should you? Be encouraged. Wear your spiritual fragrance and attract yourself a man after God's own heart.

Stop feelig as though you have sinned or like you are not worthy to be called a child of God because you desire to be married. Instead, exercise your faith for a husband. Ask the Lord for more of the perfume that would draw him to you. Stop fearing and don't panic. God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of love, and of power and a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7).

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

The Fragrance of a Wife

2011-11-14T14:18:00.000-08:00

Declaration

Say these words in faith and agree with God's Word...!

Father, in the Name of Jesus I declare
I am saved and forgiven of all of my sins through the blood of Jesus.
I am a child of God and I have the breath of God in me.
I agree with Your Word that I was made for the man and man will find me because he has Your breath in his nostrils.
I am anointed with Your spiritual and Heavenly fragrance.
I thank You for the institution and gift of marriage because You made me a wife.

This I declare in Jesus' Name... Amen.

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

Proud and Single

2011-11-07T14:12:00.000-08:00

When you know you look good that can lead to an attitude of vanity. Some women are too attractive for their own good. They trust in their good looks to make things happen for them. In most cases, when they think they have it altogether the spirit of pride begins to move; even upon the bold and the beautiful, especially if they have not humbled themslevs before the Lord. Pride is a very deceptive spirit that can prevent your life from progressing forward. Unless you examine yourself for evidence of conceit it can go unnoticed for many years, hindering your life.

Good Women with Bad Men

2011-11-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

Good women have great things going for them but for some reason many end up with the short end of the stick in relationships. It is not surprising to find most of these good women are very faithful, loyal, strong in spirit and mightily used of the Lord. They encourage others and pray their sisters through but they themselves seem to attrack men who appear to be good first, yet turn out to be just like the last man they were involved with.

Some women start out well but end badly because they have been played and then become players themselvs. Some women are sneaking around with married men and even celebrate that he treats her better than his wife. In some warped say they feel special when married men prefer them, being so desperate they cannot think clearly.

Let me tell you this: The road to Good Marriage Destiny is actually a series of decisions. If you sleep with him you could lose him and if you don't sleep with him you might lose him. What will you do? If you decide to sleep with someone else's husband you have chosen to release a curse on your own destiny; when and if you get married, your man will be the type to cheat on you. Be careful, even if the curse does not fall on you, your daughters are watching and learn by your example.

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

Consumed By Desire

2011-10-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

How many single women do you know who are almost consumed by the desire to get married? There are so many women who are longing for a relationship they are not ready to receive. If you are going to walk with God, you must understand something: Timing is everything.

When the Lord has prepared the right man for you and you for him, and that man shows up at the right time, you must be sure that you are in the right place with the right perspective to receive all that God wants to release to you.

The Bible says that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord”.

Often, because of old issues you haven’t dealth with or old wounds that haven’t healed; you may find yourself wandering around in a stupor somewhere emotionally unprepared for a healthy relation. You will not be able to be the “good thing” you were meant to be in your husband’s life unless you are healed and whole, your man will not feel that He’s enjoying the Lord’s favor in his relationship with you.

Ladies, men do not exist to bring the favor of the Lord to your lives, either. You find the favor of the Lord by being the woman He creates you to be-by breaking the chains with which the devil had you bound b y knowing the Lord passionately and intimately, by walking in His power and worshiping Him with your life.

It Just Haven't Happened Yet, AND WHY?

2011-10-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

We all live life differently and experience things at different times. The author encourages you to be who you are and to stop picking apart everything about yourself. She backs up the idea that we all do things (including finding love) in our own time and in our own way. Honestly, the book really makes you feel like you are fine just the way you are and that wherever you are at in your life is where you are supposed to be (which is another thing that I really loved about the book). I guess in a way it reassured me that I am doing what I need to be doing and that I am at the right place in my life.

Living Holy in a Sexy World

2011-10-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from
http://uniqueconnections.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/single-ladies-living-holy-in-a-sexy-world

As a single lady living in a sexy world,

As women we have various issues and concerns we are faced with on a daily basis. Society expects us to be married and have children by a certain age, to be a certain size, and to always look perfect. However, sometimes our greatest competition is us. As we go through this Christian journey we are reminded that it is a great challenge to try and live holy for God in a sexy world. We have temptations all around us. But how do we handle the temptation? If we are to resist then how do we accomplish that task?

The author writes three powerful chapters that will: change your thinking, empower you to present your body as a living sacrifice, and challenge your will.

The chapters consist of the:

Mind

How to discipline your mind
How to stop unwanted thoughts
How to think positive and have the mind of Christ

Body

Why your body is God’s temple
The consequences of being soul-tied
How to remain celibate until your husband arrives

Soul

How to control your emotions
How to seek and discover God’s will for your life
How to live holy

don’t you dare to be different?

Guarding the Gates of the Soul in Loneliness

2011-09-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

The gates of your soul include your eyes, ears and mouth. While it’s true we should guard the gates to our soul at all times, it is especially true during times of loneliness and isolation because it is then when we tend to fall prey to the lies of the enemy. Consider what you feeding your spirit by evaluating what you are watching and listening to on a daily basis. Your entertainment choices can wreak havoc on your state of mind.

When you are feeling lonely be sure you don’t starve your spirit. Remember what you feed will grow, so feed your spirit and not your flesh.

Also, be sure to speak life because your words are powerful. Don’t just speak what you feel, but speak what God says about a matter because that’s truth. For example, don’t just keep telling yourself you’re all alone and nobody loves you. Say, Lord I may feel all alone but I know your Word says you love me and that you will never leave me nor forsake me. No matter how you feel, speak life.

Handling the State of Loneliness

2011-09-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

While you may feel as if you have nothing left to give, that’s exactly what you need to do. Give out of your need. Whatever you need, give. Find someone who’s going through something and minister to them. Give and it shall be given unto you (Luke 6:38). This may sound like strange advice, especially when you find yourself in so much pain but keep in mind God’s ways are not like our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Giving does a few things. First it allows you to be God’s hand and feet in the world by blessing others, but it also gets your focus off of you. Press past your pain and find a way to bless someone else because ultimately you will be blessed in the process.

By applying these simple do's and don’ts in time you will begin to feel God strengthening you and recognize His arms uplifting you. So yes you may feel all alone, but know that God is there and He has provided people all around you to help you as well. Don’t isolate yourself from God’s love and His people.

Of course I am not a doctor or psychologist so none of this is attended to be medical advice. If you are experiencing a prolong bout with loneliness and depression, please seek professional help.

Being Content in the Wait

2011-09-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

Everything in life happens for a reason and most things last only for a season. The problem is we want to define how long a season should last. We desire to live our lives as if we can skip from 1st grade to 12th grade, as if none of the training gained in grades 2nd through 11th is necessary. We go through phases, or various states of being for a reason. God uses them to grow and develop us.

While it's true most single women desire to be married, very few prepare to be a wife. Use this time to prepare to be the wife God is calling you to be.

So many marriages end in divorce and I believe a major reason is that people rush in to marriage simply because they're tired of being single. They often are in love with the idea of being married but don't want to do what it takes to make a marriage work.

Others are in such a hurry to be married that they will marry just about anyone that comes along then wonder why they are so miserable. You've tried everything else, now try waiting on God.

Still Waiting... And Now What?!

2011-09-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

We live in an instant society. Just about everything is at our fingertips via our computer, phone, iPod, etc. and we expect God to operate in an instant upon our request. Well, God does not operate in time and space and what's more He operates according to His will for our lives (not ours).

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."- Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

We think just because we believe we're ready for something now (i.e. be done with this singleness thing), that God should recognize that and grant our every wish.

Let God be God and go with the flow because you can rest assured He has your best interest at heart. God loves you more than you love yourself and He will always love you better than anyone else ever will.

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."- Isaiah 40:31 NLT

I'm Going to Sit Right Here and Wait

2011-09-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

Could it be that waiting is so hard because we define it as ‘to stay in place in expectation of something’ rather than ‘to serve’ (as a restaurant waiter does)?

God doesn't want us to just sit around waiting in our singleness, we should be serving. In fact, once we are married we will likely not have the time to serve as much because then marriage and family will become our first ministry priority.

Rather than just waiting to be removed from PMS, we should be serving God by serving others. There is much to be done. The harvest is great, and the laborers are few.

Excerpt from http://www.christian-single-woman.com/singleness.html

Lord, I Feel Cursed with Singleness!

2011-09-13T15:00:00.000-07:00

Life is all about relationships, but for some reason we tend to make it about the lack of one relationship. You are not incomplete because you are not a part of a couple. You are a whole woman just as you are. So be sure to enjoy all the relationships in your life.

Singleness doesn’t have to be a burden, it’s actually a great opportunity to serve. Enjoy this time just getting to know yourself and God better. Granted, some days that will be easier said than done, but believe me, it is possible.

Many single women have gone on to live very full, well-balanced lives. Some have even gotten married and started families, which just goes to prove you're not necessarily destined to be single forever.

Don't put your life on hold waiting to be married. Also, don't wait until you're sick and tired of being sick and tired to start enjoying your life. There is no reason why you can enjoy a full life right now.

Be encouraged my sister you’re single, not dead.

Become a Wife-in-Waiting and Attract the Relationship You Want

Living a Life of Happiness

2011-09-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

One reason many people are so anxious to find a mate, is because they believe it is the doorway to happiness. They have fallen for the illusion that happiness will be achieved when their prince or princess rides in on a white horse and whisks them away to marital bliss. So, instead of embracing life's precious moments, and living life with passion and purpose each day, they sit in the holding pattern of discontent. This is a choice.

Each day we have to make that conscious choice to be happy, to focus on the positives, not the negatives. Granted, there are times when sadness is justified. Accept that the human experience can be challenging, difficult, and flawed, but don't dwell on misery. Sometimes when we feel blue, it is because we are transforming and "shedding our old skin" and growing into something better. We don't understand what is happening, and we temporarily feel a loss of our old selves. It is ok to feel a little blue during periods of transformation and contemplation of the self, especially when it means letting go of our old comfort zone, even if it wasn't serving us a positive purpose.

But if you wish to add romantic love to your life, start by loving yourself, because happy, caring, loving people attract happy, caring, loving people.

Your First Dating Experience (#PowerandPurpose)

2011-08-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, a true relationship means having a spiritual connection with God's intimate love, which flows through your life and then into the lives of others. When Eve entered the scene, it was Adam's relationship with God that enabled him to know how to treat her as his friend and his wife. In other words, his spiritual relationship with God was first set in order before any human connections were established.

So how is your relationship with the Lord? Relationships are good for us because they show us where we are spiritually and what we need to do in order to get where God wants us to be.

Excerpt from "The Revelation of Your Relationships" by Deborah Dukes

Highly Sensitive Information

2011-08-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

Even when you share your faults and frustrations with a true friend, you rest assured knowing that your reputation is protected and your secrets are safe with them. If you did not trust a person, I highly doubt you would tell them sensitive information because you would be unsure of what they would do with it. The reason you experience less hesitation in sharing things with true friends is because you believe in the love they have towards you... Having someone trustworthy to talk to is a blessing to you because instead of using the information to gossip, spread your business, or judge you, a true friend will look beyond your faults, still see greatness in you, and go to God in prayer believing Him to turn your situation around. ~Deborah Dukes, "The Revelation of Your Relationships"

Establishing a Truthful Relationship (#PowerandPurpose)

2011-08-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

Relationships are a major part of our lives. However, friendship are one of the most influential relationships that exist. In every person lies a spiritual tie or connection that will either pull us away from or push us towards our purpose in Christ. For this very reason, a true friend is one of the most precious assets you could possibly have in your life. Being connected to a person who genuinely cares for you and embodies the love of God, ultimately pushes you towards your assignment in Christ. ~Deborah Dukes

Excerpt from "The Revelation of Your Relationships" by Deborah Dukes

The Dating GPS (#PowerandPurpose)

2011-08-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

It is important to know that the person you are dating loves God and they are going in the same direction in Christ. You don't want to be connected to someone on a totally different course from where God is taking you. That should be a clear sign that they are not the one for you. Dating should be fun and enjoyable, but never compromising to your relationships with God. So, if they are not routed into God's GPS system for your destination, don't waste your time... move on! ~Deborah Dukes, "The Revelation of Your Relationships"

Desperate Dating (#PowerandPurpose)

2011-08-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

Don't be so desperate if you see someone you're interested in, let them get good and saved first! Many times, the person has barely walked through the church doors, and as soon as they open their eyes after the prayer of salvation, there you are - winking, blinking and nodding! Understand that what God has for you is for you. Don't rush things. Give them some time to get free from their past and delivered from struggles, habits, and addictions. They don't need any distractions; they just need Jesus right now! So allow God to do His perfect work in their life. Let them learn how to love the Lord with all their heart, mind and soul, and to build a consistent relationship with Him, which ultimately will be better in helping you reach your fullest potential. ~Deborah Dukes, "The Revelation of Your Relationships"

Dating, A Reflection of Your Relationship With God

2011-07-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

Your dating relationships reflects your relationship with God, and it impacts your relationships with God. The person you choose to date will either contribute to or take away from your ability to fulfill God's Will for your life. When dating, it is important that you consider who you are connecting yourself to and who you allow to connect with you. You should want a healthy relationship with someone who honors and loves God and potentially loves you. ~ Deborah Dukes

Excerpt from "The Revelation of Your Relationships" by Deborah Dukes

Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Oneness

2011-07-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

A woman should understand that it is inappropriate to pursue or engage in physical, emotional or spiritual oneness with a man to whom she is not married.

Ephesians 5:3-4 says "But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting - all of which are out of character - but rather thanksgiving."

You see, SISTAHS, it's more than just abstaining from sex; to be a true and respectful woman, it's also about watching what you say and how you believe.

For many women, the struggle in relationships isn't a physical issue; rather, it's of a spiritual and emotional matter. Therefore, to avoid developing spiritual ties, you must conduct yourself appropriate with men whom you consider "friends". Be careful about praying with or sharing other spiritually and emotionally intimate experiences one-on-one with men whom you consider "friends".

You also need to be cautious about whom you express your hopes, dreams, and fears. Women have been designed to "naturally" connect with men, but you must always use wisdom and be on guard about your interactions with the opposite sex.

Will a Man Ever Love or Care About Me?

2011-07-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

Do past relationships and disappointments prevent you from believing that a man will ever love you or care about you?

SISTAHS, God wants to be your guide in finding a new place – a place where those close to you care for you and admire you. He wants to demonstrate great love for you, by entrusting your well-being one to one of His sons. But in order to take advantage of this joy, you have to trust in the Lord God Almighty that something new, something different, and something better will happen for you.

I invite you to trade your sorrows for the joy of the Lord. Life is not always fair, and some things happen to us that are unjustifiable. But that doesn’t have to stop you from having a future that is bright, beautiful and rewarding.

God wants to heal you and make you whole, so that you can enjoy life and love once again.

Excerpt from "Lord, I'm Ready to Be a Wife" by Christine Pembleton

She Trains Her Thought Life Not to Lust After Men

2011-07-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

A woman should dress modestly so that she does not cause men to stumble, and she trains her thought life not to lust after men.

Excerpt from "When Love's In View" by Dr. Conway & Jada Edwards

Romans 14:13 underscores this principle: “Therefore we must not pass judgment on one another, but rather determine never to place an obstacle or a trap before a brother or sister.” To put it simply, women must be very careful about what they wear. The focus of men’s interest is physical by nature. They don’t need any help from us in conjuring up physical desire. If this happens to be a struggle for you and you often feel convicted, earnestly pray and ask the Lord to show you how to make the appropriate changes in your dress and lifestyle. God will respond by giving you the grace to help you make the necessary adjustments in your behavior.

As you pursue the heart of God, you will find that what may have been acceptable in the past is no longer acceptable to you.

And SISTAHS, let’s not forget our duty to lovingly, yet boldly encourage and challenge younger ladies as to what they wear – not just talk about them as they walk by.

Choosing Happiness

2011-07-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

One reason many people are so anxious to find a mate, is because they believe it is the doorway to happiness. They have fallen for the illusion that happiness will be achieved when their prince or princess rides in on a white horse and whisks them away to marital bliss. So, instead of embracing life's precious moments, and living life with passion and purpose each day, they sit in the holding pattern of discontent. This is a choice.

You have heard the expressions - seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, finding the silver lining on the dark cloud, or viewing the glass as "half full" not "half empty". But this can be difficult at times. Each day we have to make that conscious choice to be happy, to focus on the positives, not the negatives. Granted, there are times when sadness is justified. Accept that the human experience can be challenging, difficult, and flawed, but don't dwell on misery. Sometimes when we feel blue, it is because we are transforming and "shedding our old skin" and growing into something better. We don't understand what is happening, and we temporarily feel a loss of our old selves. It is ok to feel a little blue during periods of transformation and contemplation of the self, especially when it means letting go of our old comfort zone, even if it wasn't serving us a positive purpose.

I am not going to promise you a cure for unhappiness, but my intent is to help you open your mind and soul to happiness and to invite it in. Here are a few activities for you to do while you consciously choose to be happy.

Dwell daily on the things that make you happy.
Make an effort to really make someone else happy.
Think about the things you are grateful for - list them, count them, say them aloud.
On occasion, or even frequently, find the time to do the things that gave you joy as a child such as drawing or other creative pursuits (without self-judgement of the outcome), blowing soap bubbles with a bubble wand, swing on a swing, play in the sand or dirt, lie in the grass and look at the clouds.

Just thinking of these things may make you happier. Although this is not a scientific method of achieving happiness, it may just make you feel lighter, happier, and appreciate the simple things in life more..

But perhaps you are thinking that you really want to be loved and that will make you happy. It might be a wonderful accessory to go with your life, but love alone cannot make a miserable person happy to their inner core. But if you wish to add romantic love to your life, start by loving yourself, because happy, caring, loving people attract happy, caring, loving people.

Also, don't give up on yourself if you don't feel happy the moment you make the choice to live this way. You may have years and years of negative programming to re-write. Begin by believing in yourself.

Excerpt from www.SingleGoddess.com

Learn to Love Again

2011-06-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

Jill was standing in the mirror after trying on the fifth outfit from her closet so far. She was going out on a date later that evening. Her coworker had introduced her to a family friend – single, an engineer of some sort, and “nice guy.”

This was their first date but also her first date since the breakup of her previous 2-year relationship. And she was nervous – really nervous. In her mind she questioned if she was really ready to start dating again. She even tossed around the idea of calling and canceling.

Well, Jill is not the only one fearful of starting over again. Breaking-up with someone is hurtful because of two reasons. One, you have to leave someone you loved at one point. And two, you have to face the possibility that meeting someone else will take some time – maybe even months.

Then, when you meet someone, it may or may not work out. It’s like a catch-22. If you don’t date, you’ll definitely never meet anyone. But if you do date, you may get your heart broken again and be in a worse emotional state than you are in right now.

So how do you start the process over again without getting hurt?

Make sure you’re ready to gamble with love – If the thought of your previous relationship still pains you, you may not be ready to start over again. The heart has to heal from the disappointment of the past in order for you to hope in the future.

Take things one step at a time – I am not sure WHY we start to solidify things in relationships so quickly. Maybe it’s because we as women want security in our relationships most of all. We want to be in a relationship that will last. But it’s important to enjoy yourself and make sure you are enjoying yourself each time you’re with the one you’re dating. If all your questions have been answered and you know enough about the person to make a choice, then you can make that choice. But until then, enjoy the dates, phone calls, or even Skype chats.

Pay attention to the little pains before they turn into big ones – If you’re disappointed with something he says or does (even if it’s small) talk to your relationship coach about it. Write about it in your journal and keep track. Sometimes we’re disappointed with someone in the very beginning but we accept it because we’re having such a good time that we don’t want it to end. Well, that’s like letting someone poke you with a thumbtack over and over again. Eventually you’re going to get really sore!

All in all, if you want to love again you have to try again. Learning new ways to handle situations or how to recognize a good man may be the key to having the loving relationship you want. You can’t keep doing the same things and get different results. Lucky for you there are programs you can invest in to learn new things so you can get new results.

From Christine Pembleton, Author of Ready to Be a Wife - http://www.readytobeawife.com/learn-to-love-again

How to Date and Stay Saved by Kim Brooks

2011-06-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

How Singles Persevere at Christmastime: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kimbrooks/2010/12/25/how-singles-persevere-at-christmastime

How to Date as a Single Parent: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kimbrooks/2010/11/02/single-parent-dating-and-blended-families

Speaking with Abstinent Men: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kimbrooks/2010/10/12/4-unmarried-christian-men-get-real-about-sex-and-a

Are you single and saved? Want to know how to date as a single Christian while still enjoying a loving, romantic relationship that leads to the altar before the bedroom? Then tune in to national bestselling author and licensed minister, Kim Brooks' show based off the title of her newest book, "How to Date and Stay Saved." This show shares free tips from her book and interviews singles experts and well-known personalities about Christian Singles issues, Christian Dating and today's single Christian, Sex and the single believer, and more. Kim Brooks, a renown singles minister, Christian dating expert and abstinence until marriage advocate who not only preaches but practices abstinence as a virgin in her early 30's, is the author of Black Expressions' Bestseller, "He's Fine...But is He Saved?" its sequel, "He's Saved...but is He For Real?" and non-fiction mini-book, "The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints." Tune in to the show and tell your single friends and loved ones about it as well. And as always, be and STAY encouraged!

Experiencing Healthy Relationships

2011-06-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

We live in a world where physical and emotional promiscuity is very prevalent. Guys engage in unhealthy, codependent relationships with women. Some women strive to hold on to men who do not desire a commitment. The culture of our day encourages individuals to simply date to marry rather than marry to date. People want the benefits of marriage without the responsibility and the commitment that is inherent in the marriage union. They want to enjoy the companionship, comfort, protection, and even financial benefit without entering the covenant that God has established for marriage.

Often though relationships that can only be defined as unhealthy, women are searching for any support and protection that men can offer, and men are in need of the nurturing environment women are capable of providing. All of this toxic activity is being carried on in the name of dating. And as a result, many people find themselves emotionally connected during the dating process, and subsequently they become quite devastated when the relationship ends. Thsi is a dangerous situation in which to be in volved, because an emotional connectivity of this nature was designed for marriage only and not for a dating relationship.

See relationships and marriage the way God designed them:

1. Men are to be the initiators and women are to be the responders when it comes to establishing personal contact with each other.

2. Focus intentionally on developing healthy male friendships.

3. Go through the process of self-examination and remember the principle of selflessness.

4. Live by faith.

5. A real friend will tell you what you need to hear - not just what you want to hear.

6. Contentment should be reemphasized as another foundational element of having a balanced relationship that pleases God.

7. Your love for God must be preeminent over all else.

Excerpt from "When Love's in View" by Dr. Conway and Jada Edwards

Christianity and The Single Woman

2011-06-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

If you are an unmarried Christian woman, you are more blessed than you think. Single women are in a very good position to truly fulfill God’s purpose for their lives. Most importantly, God can use single women in His Ministry much better than He can use married women. Our God loves devotion, complete devotion. At the same time, He loves marriage, and a sense of family. He knows that a married person is much more likely to be torn apart, because of the spouse’s beliefs or family considerations. A married woman has to make time for the family, so as to keep it strong and intact, which pleases God. But a single woman, is much more available for God to use.

The most important thing to realize is that, it will happen at the best possible time. The best thing you could do now is to allow God to work in your life, allow Him to use you, while you are still available. Just relax and let Him be God. If you are stressed and desperate, you are also chasing/scaring away potential mates.
Enjoy being a single, independent woman. Chances are, once you get married, you will in one way or another miss your days as a single woman. A plus to enjoying yourself is that, if you do that, it will show, and that will attract some good potential partners. Everyone likes being around happy people; life can be stressful. Make yourself attractive, don’t be miserable.

Being desperate for a walk down the aisle may cause you to welcome anyone, or anything for that matter, that can promise that desired walk. So be careful not to be desperate.

Be yourself. You might not realise it, but being yourself is the best way to attract someone with whom you are compatible. This is because they will see some traits that they like in you, so they will get attracted to the real you. If you fake things, and present to the world, a different person to the one that you truly are, you are not doing yourself any favours at all. The person you attract will have to flea once he realises that you ‘lied’ to him. So, be who you really are, don’t be a fake. After all, what woman would want a man to love her because he thought she was somebody else? Who wants to be loved for all the wrong reasons?

I wish you the all the contentment, success and growth that unmarried/single women could claim!

Don't Call the Maintenance Man

2011-06-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

"For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his." ~ Hebrews 4:10 (KJV)

SISTAH DECLARATION:
When I get out of God's way, He works on my behalf - I can't fix it myself!!

When you are entering into God's rest you'll stop trying to fix it yourself.

Have you ever tried to help God out? I mean, He wasn't moving fast enough for you, you thought. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You may still be trying to help God out right now. The cologne you wear isn't going to get you that right man, and the hairstyle isn't going to get you the right man, the suit or dress isn't going to get you the right man. Now, you ought to look as good as you can, but that isn't what's going to do it. However this "somebody" that God sends to FIND YOU, will be "somebody" who will think you look good regardless of all that.

He has enough force and enough power, and enough angels, and enough of everything necessary to take care of you and yours and far beyond what you could ever require. He doesn't like it when you try and help Him. He says, "Believe Me, believe My Word and enter into My rest."

"Step Back, Let God Do It!" You have to enter into that rest by getting out of the way. Cease from your own labor, and then God's supernatural ability will enter in and take care of the situation.